i feel like shit all the time.

what the title says basically. i feel like being suicidal is my default emotion, i could be doing whatever but my heart just feels incredibly heavy and i just wish i was gone. i also struggle with taking care of my physical health, i have issues with eating properly and substance abuse and the like, which i feel like has been fucking up my body and leading me to have constant headaches and stomach aches and that. i cant stop comparing myself with other people, too. i feel so behind compared to others, im lonely, i have little hobbies, i always fuck up things which make me look like an idiot in front of others. i just feel like everyone else always seems to have their shit together while i have no idea whats going on or what to do in my life. i really want to stop feeling like this. if anyone has advice for me, let me know.