kinda at a loss

Hello! I’m 16 years old (f), I’ve been recognised by a professional as having most symptoms of bpd but I’m not officially diagnosed due to concerns around my age (being under 18) and other life factors so I’m not going to refer to myself directly as having it during this post. (this is context)

the reason I’m writing this is because I feel very alone. ive isolated myself from most of my friends, and i spend all my time waiting for my girlfriend to be free so that we can call or hang out. (and getting really stressed and paranoid when she’s busy) I keep having episodes, lashing out at my parents when they want to help me. Everytime I think I’ve found something good or exciting to do I ruin it and it gets canceled. I can’t even find the energy to get out of bed or finish my artwork but I don’t sleep much either. I don’t trust anyone around me (not even my girlfriend sometime) and it’s honestly really frightening

I don’t know what to do or how to cope and I can’t speak to anyone and my mom keeps putting off calling my therapist so I cant even reach out to her. Really I just need someone to tell me it’ll get better and I don’t feel like I have anywhere else to go about this but here