AITA for telling a member of our friend group that she’s a brat.

I have a group of lady friends who plan regular get togethers. Most of us are connected through Carla (not her real name) who is our unofficial matriarch. She plans the events, they are usually at her house and when we do trips out of town, she pays for the Airbnb on her card and we pay her our portion. The most recent upcoming trip has an indoor pool. We go do these parties and pretty much let loose. There’s drinking, and shenanigans. We’re silly af.

To be clear we’re old ladies. Most of us are moms and about half of us are grandmas. Carla asked how the group would feel if her grandbabies came for a swim in the morning. We established some guidelines- like not just Carla’s grandkids could be invited, but only toddlers can come for the swim and they had to be brought by a female (or female presenting- this is a ladies weekend after all). There would be a strict time frame and we didn’t plan on curtailing our behavior- so fair warning I guess. The group was divided, some feeling like they would feel stifled and it would change the whole vibe, others feeling like a morning time would not interfere with the craziness and it would be fun. I suggested that we do a vote, majority rules.

Here’s where I might be the ahole. When the verdict was in, one person, we’ll call her Jen, said she was out. She didn’t want to come because the vote didn’t go her way. I told her she was being a spoiled brat, and that she was having a childish petty tantrum just because she wasn’t getting her way. Jen told me she didn’t want to pay for something when she didn’t agree with the way things went and that I should “respect her boundaries”. This isn’t the first time that Jen has said or done something sideways, but it is the first time I called her out. Now I’m wondering if I’m the one being petty. So Reddit? Am I the Ahole?