AITA for refusing to attend my mom's renaissance fair themed birthday party?
My mom recently turned 50 and my family has been experiencing some tension. I'm currently planning a wedding and my mom has been nothing but cold and standoffish with my bride to be. I have addressed her behavior multiple times and the answer is always "well she isn't my fiancee" "well I'm shy" "well you picked her, not me." I finally blew up and we had a long heart to heart and she confirmed my fears that she doesn't like my fiancee much and finds her "annoying" and "vapid" I told her if she ever acted on those feelings she will be disinvited from the wedding.
My fiancee recently had a bridal shower/bachelorette weekend at Disney as she is a huge Disney person. Growing up we rarely went to Disney as my stepdad, and I preferred Universal. I never knew my mom had opinions regarding Disney thought, but it got back to me that she was making fun of the bridal shower calling it things like "lame' and "embarrassing" When I confronted her she expressed her "concerns" She felt it was self indulgent that she was having so many pre-wedding events, and she was salty about being given a matching shirt to wear. Apparently she didn't want to be in the "bride squad" She tried to brush this off by saying Disney was childish and themes are lame.
I ended up skipping my mom's birthday trip to Italy due to other commitments. To be fair she was cool with this. I planned on taking her to dinner sometime, since 50 is a big deal, but I recieved an invitation to a surprise party on the day of her actual birthday and decided to attend. When I got there it was full ren faire themed, costumes, games, food, performers. It was like her own personal fair. Now I don't think people would suspect this, because she gives off too cool vibes, but my mom loves renaissance fairs. It started as a joke with her and a friend that it is an excuse to "dress slutty" but that was years ago and now they are her thing.
To be honest it was an amazing party, probably one of the sickest parties I've seen, but I immediately felt pissed. How the hell is a ren fair less cringey, childish, or embarrassing than Disney? and why isn't it excessive that my mom had a trip abroad plus this party? I just could not stop thinking fucking hypocrite.
My mom walked in and got surprised. Then she went to change and I couldn't take it anymore. I told my aunt I was leaving and that if my mom wanted me she could call and personally apologize to my fiancee. My aunt called me a "prick" but I left with my fiancee and guess who never called? Now my family is saying I'm an ass for missing both of her celebrations when 50 is a huge deal. Also apparently they are mad because they feel my fiancee used the party to get insta likes, but like what? She didn't know we would be leaving early.