My boyfriend cheated on me and I stayed with him. What should I do?

I 18f have been in a relationship for 9 months with my boyfriend Samuel 18m. A bit of a background context, he broke up with me after 4 months after we started dating because he said I was getting to close to a friend. A day later he asked me to get back with him. Me being stupid got back again with him.

Then sometime later he cheated on me, he watched some dirty stuff. I was so sad, he said he would stop doing it. But even though he was in a relationship with me he didn't stop, he basically watched it every day so I knew he couldn't stop.

I have moved to a different highschool, this is where I met Alex 18m. Me and my boyfriend Samuel are in a secret relationship because my parents don't allow dating so no one knows. When I got there I thought Alex was the best looking guy but nothing else.

After a month of being there, Alex started touching my hand, I of course moved my hand and told my boyfriend. Samuel was livid, he told me to stop talking to him and to not get his phone number. I blocked all 20 contacts that were guys while he only blocked 4, he didn't have that much girl friends while all my friends were guys.

The reason I'm friends with many guys is because girls are judgemental, but he doesn't understand that.

Me and Alex are getting closer, Samuel is getting mad and telling me that he'll kill himself if we break up. Since I'm in a long distance relationship, I don't get any affection, I missed that. But I'm loyal, but I think I'm falling in love with Alex.

Alex is the complete opposite of Samuel. Alex is the captain of the soccer team, he's athletic, fit, smart, and popular, while Samuel is lazy, ugly, not athletic and awkward.

I still love Samuel, but he doesn't trust me anymore and our relationship has gotten worse.

He makes me uncomfortable because he keeps telling me that he wants to have kinds with me and marry me. He tells me that he doesn't want to lose me. But I'm starting to like Alex, I know it's wrong and I know I won't cheat on him, but I can't bring myself to break up with him, he's my first.

And he might get with my sister since he might have liked her. I don’t want him doing that, I need y’all’s help